Oh this persistent loneliness…

We’re all like fearful children until we realize that home and security reside inside of us and have always done so.

I’ve never met anybody who said they’ve never felt lonely, and I bet you have felt lonely too sometimes. Even if we have a family and lots of friends who love us we can still feel isolated and lost. Why is that?

When we’re born into this world, and throughout our lives, we’re like little children who have left their home to go on a trip in the big world all on their own. It’s no wonder we feel lonely and scared at times. We’re like little drops shooting out of a fountain, separated from the rest of the water while on this journey. Just like the drop makes its way through the air and returns to the source where it came from so do we. We’re on this journey to learn from our experiences, from different situations and from other human beings making their journey. This is how we grow.

But we’re not thrown out of home on a journey to get lost. We do have an inner compass, a GPS that is there to guide us throughout our lives. The problem, at least in the western society, is that we never stop to listen to it. It’s like we’re driving a car full speed in the fast lane and we don’t know how to get to where we need to go. Our GPS is there the whole time telling us the way step by step, but we have music on full volume and using our phone at the same time, ignoring the guidance. If we slow down and turn off the distractions we will be able to hear the GPS helping us to where we want to go.

I’ve felt lost and lonely many times. But something happens every time I stop running and give myself the time to close my eyes and pay attention to what is going on inside me. The sentiment of loneliness starts evaporating and a serene feeling of being home takes its place.

I have periods when I feel too restless or stressed to meditate and that emotional state consequently comes back. The feeling of insecurity, being lonely, lacking self confidence and having a lot to worry about. Yet, however strong that feeling might be we’re never alone. We are loved and supported all the time. It’s hard to believe when times get rough and we feel like there’s no one around. But trust that there’s a reason for things to be this way at the moment. This reason might not be clear until some time later, so hang in there.

If you sit alone in a quiet place and close your eyes and ask a question or ask for help you will hear the answers coming to you from within. It might be a feeling, a memory, an inspired thought or an idea. If it feels strange to do this it might help to listen to meditation music – there’s plenty on Youtube – , imagine sunlight shining on you and breathe in the light. Another way is to just pay attention to the flow of your breathing for a while. Find what feels right for you, as long as it calms your mind. Also, be open to little signs around you going about your day. It might be a person you randomly encounter, or something you hear or see, that triggers a feeling or an idea inside you. These things may not be as random as you might think. Your intuition, or GPS, is always trying to communicate with you and guide you, like a wise parent who is giving you loving advice.

Your dreams are also filled with guidance, so pay attention to them. The very moment you wake up with a fresh dream in your memory, write it down immediately. There is a great deal of wisdom in our dreams and a lot to learn about ourselves and our current situation. Most of the time our dreams don’t make sense to us because we don’t understand the symbols in them. But a lot of research has been done on the topic so there is help out there to understand the subconscious mind and the symbols it uses. I’ve found a lot of insight by searching for example “symbolic meaning of…cats” (or what ever I’ve seen in my dream) on the internet. But a good book on this topic is “Dream Dictionary” by the dream expert and therapist Tony Crisp. It’s amazing how many clues about yourself and your current situation there is inside yourself that can help you on your path.

Practicing these things to understand what’s going on in there might be something you’ve done for a long time. If not, try it for a little while and watch what happens to your life and your feelings of loneliness..!

2 thoughts on “Oh this persistent loneliness…

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